I am so, so, so HAPPY it's Friday. I don't have any major plans for the weekend but just knowing this week, not the best one, is over is a great feeling.
Does anyone know what I mean when I say "post-break-up dream?" Post-break-up dreams are the worst type of nightmares. They paint you a picture of your relationship a. being repaired, break-up off! and b. what is used to be look before it became a broken relationship. Their worst side effects include waking up to believe you actually haven't broken up, wishing you hadn't broken up, and desiring to e-mail your former lover and see if they too are experiencing similar dreams and maybe it's a sign from a higher being sealing your fate as destined lovers. I had a horrible post-break-up dream last night. It involved my ex flying from his homeland of England to tell me how much he missed me and then us getting back together and having the relationship we had before it all changed. I woke up with the urge to e-mail him and say "I'm sorry I broke up with you. It wasn't that I didn't love you, it was that you weren't putting any effort." Instead I went on Facebook.
Lately I haven't been very happy at Facebook. It makes me go on all these people's profile pages and think worthless thoughts that ultimately make me feel bad. I decided, post-break-up, not to go on for a while. I was struggling in not checking my former lover's page to see how he was handling my break up (he seemed to be taking it more than fine). So after two weeks and post-break-up dream, I went on.
It broke my heart. As silly as that sounds when talking in reference to Facebook. My profile page looked exactly as I left it. No new wall posts. No new messages. No new friend requests. Nada. zip. Nothing. Then I went on my ex's wall and again he seems to have put me faraway in his past. Cass who? His profile picture features him in a fur jacket with a bottle of liquor in one hand and his arms outstretched to the sky. It's a bizarre photo like is he trying to look like a ghetto pimp? Anyway criticism aside, the whole experience made me feel awful and it got me thinking about what value Facebook adds to my life.
I don't have a conclusion on its value yet but it's given me something to think about. It also has made me realize that this break-up is going to take a little longer than I thought.
On that note, I wish all of you a wonderful Friday!
PS: Thanks Kelly from Fitting Back In for all your blogging help and for commenting :) :)