Sunday, September 19, 2010

My apologies

I am sorry I took a break from blogging. Yes, it was a short break. Yes, I don't think there's people who actually noticed being that I'm still a noob. But this apology if anything goes out to me.

I have been feeling all kinds of weird these past few days. Nothing I can truly explain but I actually thought about forgetting about blogging. I don't know why I thought that yet now as I am writing again, I realize how much it means to me to write. How therapeutic it is. How much it helps me make order of my chaos.

Too often, I let emotions get the best out of me and take over. Take over to the point where it prevents me from doing things that make me happy. I forget how important it is to take care of myself, my happiness. It's okay to feel sad sometime. It's not okay to let that sadness prevent you from being present. So, I am sorry to any readers who missed my ramblings. However, more importantly, I am sorry to me.

This weekend was the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur. I am Jewish but consider it more of my culture than my religion. I am one of those people still questioning organized religion and maintain a spiritual relationship with God my own way. One thing I do love about my heritage is its traditions and holidays. I appreciate Yom Kippur because it comes just after the Jewish new year. The idea is that it's a fresh start. We all know how even though it is a fresh start, it can be hard to forget about the past and we may more often than not feel regretful. Yom Kippur is the day of atonement. It's the day that God forgives you and asks you to throw away this past that is making you feel all sorts of bad and move forward into the now. I love the idea of that as I am one who lets her past haunt her. I spent all yesterday fasting, a typical Jewish tradition on this holiday, and I am feeling like my fresh start can begin.

Fresh start to me doesn't mean finally tacking those last 5 pounds or take up piano lessons. For me, my fresh start is continuing to love myself, moving on once and for all from my ex-boyfriend, and recognizing the abundance of good the world has to offer me each day. Okay, I sound a little, maybe a lot, cheesy but I don't care! After all, the best things (Michael Scott from the Office, Cheetos Cheese Puffs, and 80s music) in the world are cheesy.


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